How to Be Okay With What You Are Not
I'll keep this one quick because the weekend is slowly ticking away and sleeping at 7:30pm is becoming all too real. I'm also about to start a bullet journal, so that will probably keep me distracted for the rest of my life.
I've come across this theme for the past couple of weeks that just keeps following me around. And honestly, at surface level, it's a hard one to process. No one really wants to dive deep into the harsh realizations that some realities do not exist (and will probably never exist).. It's easier to admit the big ones: I am not a millionaire. I am not a brain surgeon. I am not a movie star. Then there are those that are a bit harder to admit because of the subtle ties to the current activities that make me happy: I am not a chef. I am not a graphic designer. I am not an Olympic athlete. Sometimes, in wanting so badly to associate with these identities, we (I) can get caught up in the game of what-ifs and why-nots.
But it is pointing out these obvious truths that can be so liberating. I'm calling this the first step in being okay with what you're not.
Admit what you're not.
It's okay to want to be someone other than the person you are now. That's the point of setting goals! But in order to set goals, and in order to keep moving forward with these goals, you need to really have a good, honest talk with yourself. I know I'm not a chef. I'm not a recipe writer. I don't know how to make certain things taste good on the first or probably even tenth try. I'm not a graphic designer. I work with a lot of graphic designers, and I can color correct and take some pictures, but I do not have an eye for font or kerning or logo design. (PS: my logo was designed by my good friend and TRUE graphic designer, Stephen!) I am not an Olympic athlete. I can barely do a set of pull-ups. I can't clean or snatch my body weight. My front squat is still sub-200#, I'm not any of these identities.
Figure out ways to use the "nots" to your advantage.
So after the brutally honest and totally real self-talk, it's time to get creative. How can I use my lack of skills to my advantage? Yes, I'm not a chef. But there are so many people in this world that are chefs who create amazing Paleo recipes all the time! And I love discovering the delicious and easy ones, testing them out, and sharing them with all of you! I love building community and making connections. Yes, I'm not a graphic designer, but I have friends who are willing to help me. I take pride in my friends' talents, and I love sharing what they do! Yes, I'm not an Olympic athlete, but I am a better athlete than I was two years ago and even 6 months ago. And I love teaching other athletes about technique and cheering on those who have the potential to become competitive athletes.
Use the "nots" to guide your future.
Now that you've creatively changed your outlook on the things you're not, there's still room for change. In assessing my list of "nots", I determined that I would definitely want to become a better chef, so I started taking cooking classes to improve. And in wanting to help people to become the best athletes possible, I took sports nutrition classes. You get the point.
You're not limited by your "nots". You're not limited by your talents. There is always enough room for exploration and growth. So start figuring out what you're not, so you can start focusing on what you are.